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| 15 Dec 2015 08:31 PM
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Once upon a time, there was this guy named John, and he found an old book. He opened it up, and read every letter, and word that was on every page. Soon, he found out about this evil wizard that was looking for an evil staff. He told his friend that it wasn't a good idea to keep this book, but his friend had already thrown the book into a dark hole in his backyard. Weeks later, when the sun shined bright, the evil wizard came and claimed this evil staff. His friend then said "I'm sorry I threw away the book!". The evil wizard laughed, and vanished back to where he was from.
What do you think?
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| 15 Dec 2015 08:38 PM
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It's fine but doesn't really hook you in.
I'd add more details such as John finding the book in a library or something and then him reading about this wizard that will attack tomorrow.
Maybe he is scared and goes into the basement (idk, somewhere else like a closet) and then the wizard arrives at his door, knocking on it and saying, "OPEN UP NOW!" and then John opens the door and they argue and then the wizard uses his evil staff and kills John and disappears.
It's still a good story but needs more detail. Also, put a bit of 'action' in it so people feel like they're watching a movie.
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| 16 Dec 2015 02:17 AM
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I'll try adding more stuff. Thanks!
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| 16 Dec 2015 04:43 AM
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Oh, I almost forgot! Once John died, the book started moving by itself. But what happened next, no one knows.
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| 16 Dec 2015 04:44 AM
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this is too complicated for 6 year old kids
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