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| 27 Jan 2015 03:54 AM
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I was sitting at my desk, filling out paperwork when I heard a knock on the door. It was the new guy.
"Hello Mr. DekuScrub," he said.
"Hello," I said. "What can I do for you?"
He stared at me for a few seconds, and then said "I need a cup of coffee."
"I don't serve coffee here," I said.
"I know that, but I saw your name written on the door, and it said DekuScrub, which is an orange drink." He replied.
"That's not coffee"
"SHUT UP!" he screamed. He then charged at me. I ran to my desk, grabbed my stapler, and hit him over the head with it. The new guy fell to the ground. I took his shoes off and put them in the microwave.
The new guy was unconscious, so I took him to the hospital. As soon as we arrived, the receptionist looked at us and said "What are you doing here?"
"We're here because this guy got hit over the head with a stapler." I said. She then asked "Where did you get the stapler?" I said "My desk."
She called security, who came and arrested me.
The new guy woke up and asked how he got to the hospital. She replied "The same way Mr. DekuScrub got here. His desk."
The next morning, I went back to work. When I arrived, I noticed all the furniture was upside down. I asked "What's going on?"
"Well," said my boss "You see that guy who got arrested? You know what he does for a living? Well, he's a carpenter, and yesterday he built furniture for your office, so he got mad and turned everything upside down."
I thought about the previous day, and then remembered my stapler. It wasn't there! I ran downstairs and found it, but it was full of holes. I grabbed it and threw it at the new guy.
He was still in his hospital bed. He woke up and yelled "WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW MY STAPLER AT ME!" Then, he hit his head on the wall and fell unconscious again.
"HE'S DEAD!" I shouted
Everyone looked at him. They could tell he was dead, too.
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