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| 22 Dec 2009 02:35 AM
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This is the story of a man who had no penis. His name was Fred, and his friends called him Penisless.
They would always go out at night and drink lots of alcohol. One night they were walking home when they saw a prostitute. Her name was Betty. Penisless said "I'll take her".
Betty was confused. "Why you want to take me?" asked Betty.
"Because I'm Penisless." replied Penisless.
Betty thought she knew what he meant and decided that it wouldn't be a bad thing to have another man in her life.
So she went home with Penisless and they spent the night together.
The next morning Penisless woke up to find that Betty had stolen his watch. He went downstairs to get a cup of coffee and found that Betty had stolen his socks, pants, shoes and underwear.
As he was sitting there drinking his coffee, Betty walked by and he asked her for his things back. Betty told Penisless to get out of her house or else...
Penisless got up and walked back to his friend's house. As he opened the door, he saw that it was still closed.
"What the heck" thought Penisless.
He was about to use his key when he heard a loud noise coming from inside the house. He quickly ran in the house and saw his friend, Big Dick, and three of his friends sitting around the dining room table playing poker.
"Where have you been?" asked Big Dick.
"I just went out with Betty and I came home to find that she stole my stuff." replied Penisless.
Big Dick laughed and said "That stupid woman. She'll steal anything that isn't tied down."
Then Penisless asked where the rest of his friends were.
Big Dick replied "They're at the park. They've been there all day."
"I need to go to the bathroom." said Penisless.
"Go ahead," replied Big Dick.
Penisless walked into the bathroom and as he opened the door, there was Betty in bed naked. Penisless jumped back and slammed his fist on the door and ran down the stairs.
"Hey big boy!" yelled Betty.
When Penisless arrived at the park, everyone was already asleep except for his little brother who had a big smile on his face.
"What happened?" asked Penisless.
His little brother said that Betty was going to sell him some drugs but he refused and ran away. Then she chased after him. When she caught him, she took out a knife and threatened to cut off his penis if he didn't give her the money.
His little brother then told Penisless what Betty did to his father.
After Penisless heard this story, he decided to call the police and get Betty arrested.
Three weeks later Penisless was released from prison. His lawyer convinced the judge to let him go free.
He went straight to his parents' house and told them everything that happened.
His mother was crying while his father was laughing hysterically. Then his dad started making weird noises.
"Why are you laughing?" asked Penisless.
His father explained that he and his friends used to go out drinking every weekend until one night they got into an argument over something stupid and one of them pulled out a knife and stabbed the other man.
Then Penisless' mom started crying again because she knew what his father was talking about.
The moral of this story is never drink and drive.
Never drink and walk
And most importantly, never drink and dance.
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