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| 23 Jul 2016 09:16 AM
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The following is a list of the most harmful things you could say to someone with depression. Please read and take these to heart so that you never say them.
"Your life isn't that bad, what do you have to be depressed about?"
This implies that your depression is fake or unjustified, which is not true. No one gets depressed because they want to; no one thinks, "Oh, I'll just be depressed today, why not?" People get depressed because their brain is telling them to. So when you say this to someone with depression, it makes them feel like they're somehow to blame for how they're feeling.
"You need to stop being so negative."
This is basically saying that your depression is your fault. When you tell people to stop being negative, you are implying that there's a choice in whether or not you have depression, when in fact there isn't. You don't have control over your mood.
"Just think positive!"
People who say this are often trying to be nice, but it's really not helpful to anyone. If someone is thinking positive, then they wouldn't need to hear this. And if someone has depression, then this isn't going to solve their problem.
"What are you depressed about?"
Some things that cause depression can include: loss of loved ones, physical and mental illness, bullying, rejection, abuse, and trauma. Asking what they're depressed about basically tells them that they brought this upon themselves or that it's a choice. It implies that they could easily overcome their depression if they were just more resilient.
"Are you taking your medication?"
Unless the person with depression has told you that they take medication for their depression, then it's inappropriate for you to ask them this.
You also shouldn't suggest medication unless the person has asked you first. Even if you've researched natural remedies and are very well informed on the subject, it's not appropriate to suggest anything until you know for certain that the person would like help.
"You have no reason to be depressed."
This is very similar to "your life isn't that bad." It's the same concept; it implies that they have no good reason to feel the way they do. However, this phrase makes it seem as though they have depression because they don't have any problems at all. This couldn't possibly be farther from the truth, because people get depressed for many different reasons.
"Why are you depressed again?"
Sometimes people forget what they're depressed about, and it can really be hard for someone with depression to explain why they have it. So asking them to explain it every time can make them feel like an invalid. You wouldn't ask a person with cancer, "why are you sick again?"
"Just talk to someone, that'll solve everything."
First of all, this implies that there is a solution to everything, which isn't true. Sometimes talking to someone doesn't solve anything; sometimes it can even make things worse. Also, telling someone to just talk to someone if they're depressed makes it sound like they aren't trying hard enough.
There are some things in life you can't change, such as loss or illness, so it's not possible to talk your way out of everything.
"Snap out of it!"
This basically means that you want them to stop feeling depressed and pretend that everything is fine. It's impossible to snap out of depression because it isn't something that you can control. It's very similar to "just think positive." There's no way around it: if you're depressed, then you're depressed, and there's nothing you can do about it.
"Don't worry, it'll pass!"
When someone tells you this, it's basically saying that their depression is going to go away eventually, and that you shouldn't bother trying to help them at all. This phrase doesn't help anyone.
It's also not necessarily true, because some people have clinical depression. Depression for these people can be permanent if they don't receive treatment.
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