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| 10 Jun 2009 12:21 PM
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Why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?
Answer: Because it was fired out of the cannon in the East, and it's on a collision course with Earth.
What is the definition of an ex-girlfriend?
Answer: Someone who can't spell girlfriend.
What do you call a man that has lost his right arm?
Answer: Dan. (Heh heh.)
Do you know why men hate going to the dentist so much?
Answer: They're afraid of being hurt.
What do you call a man who is sick on the toilet?
Answer: A sick toilet.
What's worse than getting stuck behind a slow driver on a narrow road?
Answer: Getting stuck behind a slow driver on a wide one.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a frog?
Answer: One ugly looking croaker.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
Answer: A chicken.
Why did the chicken walk into a telephone booth?
Answer: It was short!
Why didn't the man have a birthday party?
Answer: He wasn't born.
What's worse than having a child that doesn't like pizza?
Answer: Having a child that does like pizza.
How can you tell if there are three lawyers in your refrigerator?
Answer: The milk disappears.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying in the road screaming?
Answer: A phone bill collector.
Why is there no such thing as a "Spoon Factory"?
Answer: 'Cause they've all got knives.
Did you hear about the man who had a bag on his head?
Answer: He was at a gun show.
I went into a hardware store and saw a sign saying "We repair broken irons." I said, "Ironing board?"
What's the difference between an old man and a dog?
Answer: There are two ways of killing a dog.
How do you make a manhole smaller?
Answer: Push it to the edge of the hole.
Why did they call it the American Legion baseball game instead of the American League game?
Answer: Because they have only 10 players.
What did the guy say after the accident?
Answer: I'm okay, doctor!
What's the difference between a hippie and a zit?
Answer: One is a disgusting pimple that sits on your face, and the other one is a disgusting pimple that sits on your face.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a carrot?
Answer: A funny looking neck.
Do you know why you always find men on top on charts?
Answer: They've always been there.
Have you ever heard of a man being pregnant?
Answer: No. But I heard about a guy getting knocked up.
Why does a dog dig holes?
Answer: It was born that way.
What is the definition of a man?
Answer: A man is anything with a pulse.
Why do bananas sleep so much?
Answer: Because they hang by their feet.
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 ZMC3
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